Posts Tagged ‘Tranny Surprise

06
Jun
09

“Magnificent Bastards”

Mid-May, 2009

This will be a bit rambling.

When I was a wee little freshman, there was someone in the campus LGBTQ org whom no one really liked, who would come to meetings and point out everything that was being done wrong. Artmajor, who avoids use of pronouns, had been at the University for a few years, and had history with a lot of people. Calls self a ‘magnificent bastard’ and makes a point of being as non-mainstream, non-normative, non-gender as possible. And has, for all four years I’ve been involved with this organization, been pointing out what was going wrong. For the past year I’ve been President, I’ve tended to agree with on political and structural issues, mostly. (I think I’m a bit more patient with the closed-minded anti-kink and anti-queer people).

Fast forward to this past week. Two things have happened, one of which has somewhat redirected my life. One, I made a deal with someone to perform queertastic fuckshituppery in his name, in return for a little help with things I have a lot of trouble with, like public speaking (see this post). Two, the organization held elections for next year’s officers and all the places were filled, which meant I didn’t need to run for anything.

So the new plan is: being the only two out trannies in the org, DDog and I are going to be playing that same role — the people who just won’t quit, coming in and complaining about how the younguns are repeating past mistakes. It does, in fact, take two of us to make up the awesome that is Artmajor. DDog has the theory, and now I have the voice 😀

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06
Jun
09

Questions and Answers

Early May:

I’ve been looking more into Norse traditional religion (specifically Asatru) in my general search for ‘what’s out there.’ Partially because I have roots in that region, partially because Norse mythology is something I grew up in a familiar sort of way with; “Norse Gods and Giants” was one of my earliest English-language books that I remember (first-grade me was fascinated by the pictures of battles in Valhalla — I remember showing that page to my mom and asking if I could have a copy of the book for my birthday. Considering my memories of childhood are few and far between, this is a Big Thing). My sister and I both learned Runes in middle school / high school: she cast them, I carved them into my skin.

So, I had a presentation in class last week, and if any readers have seen me talking in front of a group (prior to this writing, anyway) I stammer, fiddle with my hands, um, uh, right, and… *looks for place on paper during long awkward pause* Complete with nervous jitter, tummy butterflies, etc. So I thought, what the hell, it can’t hurt to ask for help, and if there’s no answer I won’t do any worse than usual.

Problem is, the Christian G-d that I’d had most of my explicitly religious experiences with had been silent when I asked for help recently, and had in the past been willing only to help me figure things out that I already knew. I had read about public speaking, I had heard people talk about how to do it, I could not for the life of me wrap my head around it. So I figured if I was going to get it, it had to come from outside. Seen as I’d gotten a bit more connected to the Norse way, I decided to go there for help.

It was a different kind of request than I’d made before. It wasn’t “Help me find the strength to do this” or “Help me open my mind to understand this” with nothing but belief and a properly lived life in return, no. It was “I need to stand in front of people and have words come out of my mouth. The right ones. Intelligibly.” So it seemed like a good idea at the time to ask Loki — the trickster, the sly one, the talker; silver tongue and fox’s nimble wit. And, since there’s this whole idea of sacrificing to the gods, it made sense to offer something in return: in this case, genderbendery trannytastic fuckshituppery. A little chaos, a little change. After all, one of the reasons I was drawn towards Loki in the first place was the shapeshifting aspect (including gender-switching).

Update 6-6-09: And apparently he’s giving me ideas and requiring that I do them… Including conversations about how I need to stop being so f-ing overcautious. Curiouser and curiouser.

24
Jan
09

Made of Win and Candy.

I don’t usually like navel-gazing, which is why I’m not on Myspace or Twitter and only on Facebook as necessary, but I feel I should share this story, because it’s fucking hilarious.

(Backstory: the Captain thought I was a transwoman when he first met me / we hooked up– “I’m trans” + “T. Rex is a guy” = Mistaken Captain + Oblivious T. Rex. We were on totally different pages for a week and a half. Once I figured that out, I did not immediately disabuse him of the notion, more for my own amusement than anything else, and then about two weeks in decided it would be a good time to explain about tits and bits. This is known as the ‘Tranny Surprise’. He was somewhat taken aback, but applauded the mindfuck and has since been in on it when I mess with other people. Hooray for partners who have a sense of humor.)

Last weekend we were at a large event, where I was working in the kitchen under the kind tutelage of the Captain. (This bitstrip contains everything you need to know about him, me, my trannybuddy DDog, and the brainwaves in between. Read the rest while you’re at it, and then tell DDog to make MOAR.) The Captain knows a large number of the people who were at this event, and most of those working in the kitchen, but it was the first time I’ve met most of them — the exception being Not-Narrow, who just watched us go and laughed along.

For the entire time, the Captain was a good sport and introduced me as the new-ish boyfriend and did not refer to me as ‘tranny’ within earshot, as is his usual wont. Things is, I’m not on hormones (yet…). So I’m apparently pretty for a guy, and people were confused…

#

(Names are changed, including mine)

Captain: This is my boyfriend, T. Rex.
Buddy 1: Wait… that’s a guy?
Me: Uh… yeah? *pointing at magically flat chest*
Captain: Oh trust me, he’s a guy *winknudge*

#

Buddy 1: Hey, T. Rex.
Me: Eh? *turns around*
Buddy 1: *gropes left not-a-boob*
Me: Buh?
Buddy 1: Damn, I guess you are a guy! A girl would’ve slapped me!
Me: (Hooray, dysphoria! And alcohol!) *blinkblink*

#

Me and the Captain: *kiss*
Buddy 2: Oh, is she your girlfriend?
Captain: He. Boyfriend.
Buddy 2: Oh my G-d, I’m so sorry!!!
Me: Don’t worry, I get that a lot… *wan smile and long-suffering sigh*
Buddy 2: Wait, Captain — when did you turn gay?
Captain: …bi? Best of both worlds!
Me: At the same time. *chuckle, wink*
Captain: I’m just a greedy poly bastard.

#

Buddy 3: Dude, I totally thought that was a girl!
Captain: Nnnope.
Buddy 1: I did too! But then I grabbed his chest last night, and there’s no boobs!
Me: (…and then told everyone, you loudmouth you. My job here is done.)

#

I guess you could say this is lying by misdirection and omission? I dunno. I tend to keep the bits on a need to know basis, and as far as most of these folk will likely ever need to concern themselves with, I’m a very feminine gay guy, which is what I’ve told them, and it’s the truth. I never said ‘I was born biologically male and am possessed of all the usual faculties’, but I know that’s what they assumed (I know cisfolk assume that man=male and I admit to freely taking advantage of that) so I led them to that conclusion. As much as it’s one of my goals to be out and educate people as much as possible, ‘pre-event party’ and ‘stress-hell kitchen’ is not a place I feel comfortable conducting Tranny 101. It works much much better one-on-one. Some of it will be done on Sundays, some of it will be done over Spring Break, some of it will be done in April and May (by which time there will hopefully be T involved…) And, Tranny Surprise is just FUN. Anyway with this particular social group, usefulness is of more importance than identity or preference: I can cook, clean, carry, sew, drive, make lists, and stay organized; I don’t make drama and I follow through on things. Sounds an awful lot like I’m just another decent hardworking human being.

Still bothers me a little that I’m doing something that could be called ‘transperson lying about their past’ and ‘hiding what I really am’ even though, no, really. Telling people, “No, I’m not a girl, I’m really a guy, I have a male name, I take male pronouns, I’m a gay man, I know I look pretty but that’s not my fault” is what I really am, it is honest, it’s the version of truth that will make the most sense to people who will just be confused if I start explaining about the difference between sex and gender and socialization and trans identities, and on and on. The best rationalization I can come up with is, I’m training them to use male pronouns, so when I finally do come out about it, they don’t need to change their habits. I won’t have changed; the only thing that changes is how much they know about me. And even that still bothers me, because I’m not being entirely up front and honest with people and, much as I keep the walls up in public, being honest and open is hugely important to me, and I’m not trying nearly hard enough most of the time… *sigh*. I don’t want to be a stealth tranny. I shouldn’t have to hide these things even from strangers. The Captain is an amazingly staunch supporter and good partner and I ❤ him all the more for it, but our I feel like our codes just don’t mesh on some things (and I’m working on being ok with that). Or maybe I’m just thinking too hard about this whole thing. And the world should be fair and good and nobody should ever feel guilt or fear. Castles in the sky.

Don’t mind Mr. Serious Tranny down here; this post wasn’t supposed to go that far into the rift. Just reread the excerpts above and laugh some more. That’ll go further towards fixing this poor world than any amount of ranting and reeducating.