Posts Tagged ‘Knifeplay

05
Jun
09

Listamania!

I’ve been trying to fill out a “BDSM Activities” checklist for a while. It has a big long list of activities, with a yes/no field and a rating system, 1 being a hard limit and 5 being please yes now kthx. I started it while still attached to an ex (at which point I was in a dominant position) and decided to start it up again after getting together with the Captain, so now there’s two copies of it for different power dynamics.
I thought it would be a good idea, since I love lists, and it was fun to fill out. Of course some of my ratings are weird (“Crossdressing” got a rating of LOL, because I have no idea what would count any more) and a lot of them are physically impossible (much as I’d love to try CBT… the plumbing just ain’t there 😦 ) and knifeplay got a 7.5.
…aaaand I haven’t touched it since.
I mean, I guess I could plonk it in front of the Captain with a “Here you go, Sir, everything you need to know!” except it’s not. It doesn’t get into enough detail. Taking the example of knifeplay above, I like to get teased up to the point of cutting, and once skin starts getting broken I want semi-permanent scars. The sound of a flipknife being opened is a wild turn-on. Carvings? Sure. Ownership marks? Well… let’s talk first. And so on and so forth.
Which I guess is the whole idea, negotiating things once they’re spoken… but then why have a list in the first place? If the idea is that it’s easier to put things in writing than in speech, my ‘checklist’ would be a novel. And while there is a (semi-serious) Trannysaurus User Manual with a few hints in it, discovering those things is half the fun. I’m at least patient enough to let the Captain play with sharp objects around me 😉
This is not to say that I don’t ever write things down as a way to be able to talk about them. But, I guess the checklist is a little cut-and-dry for my taste…
Which brings me to my second (third? maybe?) point: other kinds of lists. Since moving in with the Captain, I’ve been wandering around various D/S sites (a.k.a. D/s. I tend to capitalize acronyms) and reading articles about “What Make a Good Dom” and “How to Tell If You’re Submissive” and while it is fun to compare myself to all kinds of folks’s opinions it’s getting into a lot of meta-analysis of personalities and things that I thought I was done with. I know who and what I am (right now anyway). And the only real reason I know that I am submissive to the Captain’s dominance, masochist to his sadist, is that we tried it and we liked it and it works for us. I am happy. That’s the only justification I need.

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